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Definitions (240)
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Zynga
Modern spelling of “Ozymandias.”
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Apple
A shadowy cult of technologists who sell Trojan horses containing U2 albums.
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masturbate
To repeatedly apply pressure to the left side of an apparatus while occasionally applying pressure to the right side. Stimulation of the center wheel may also be required.
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Monopoly
A never-ending board game and economic condition that inflicts permanent suffering on everyone except the winner.
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Oscar
To gild a groveler.
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Valuation
An arbitrary number produced by a coven of warlocks who have bound their souls to a VHS copy of the 1987 film Wall Street.
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accelerator
An institution connecting college dropouts with wealthy investors eager to lose money.
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Aereo
An item so convenient and sensible that it cannot be allowed to exist.
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aggregate
(1) To appropriate another person’s labor and genius, as a service. (2) To plagiarize.
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album
An antiquated custom in which musicians would bundle 2-5 functional songs with 5-10 sub-prime factory remnants.
Meaning awaits approval from a moderator |
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