Pathological shame arises when one feels that one is no longer worthy of empathy or love. It shares many of the characteristics of condemned isolation. One feels excluded, unworthy, and beyond empathic possibility and that one cannot bring oneself more fully into relationship.

Defined by Tatum (1993) as "a pervasive system of advantage based on race which has personal, cultural and institutional implications for our daily lives" (p. 2).

A system of advantage gained through another's disadvantage (McIntosh, 1980, 1988). Unearned privilege is accrued through an accident of birth or luck, being part of a privileged group. The myth of meritocracy sometimes makes it seem as if the advantage or privilege has been earned. For example, white privilege is "an invisible package of [..]

Most fundamentally, the "capacity to produce a change" (Miller, 1968, p.198).

The concept in RCT suggesting that we grow toward an increased capacity for respect, having an impact on the other, and being open to being changed by the other. Jean Baker Miller's claim that if in a relationsip both people are not growing, neither person is growing has been a controversial concept, as some have critiqued RCT as encouraging t [..]

A complex affective-cognitive skill that allows us to "know" (resonate, feel, sense, cognitively grasp) another person's experience. In order for empathy to stimulate growth, the person usually thought of as the one being empathized with must see, know, and feel the empathy of the other. That is, she or he must see her or his impact [..]

Interactions in relationships where mutual empathy and mutual empowerment do not occur; usually involves disappointment, a sense of being misunderstood, and sometimes a sense of danger, violation, and/or impasse. Disconnections may be acute, chronic, or traumatic.

Although this term is used in common parlance to mean any kind of relationship, RCT defines connection as an interaction between two or more people that is mutually empathic and mutually empowering. It involves emotional accessibility and leads to the "five good things" (zest, worth, productivity, clarity, and desire for more connection).

The capacity to bring one's real experience, feelings, and thoughts into relationship, with sensitivity and awareness to the possible impact of one's actions on others. It does not give license to total reactivity (what we might call amygdala authenticity). Authenticity does not involve telling the "whole truth" but rather shari [..]

An important relational feeling that signals "something is wrong"; a necessary part of the movement of relationships, it points to the need for change, whether at a personal or collective level; distinguished from aggression or dominance.