This second son whose father apparently ruled Porne likes to have sex with anything that’s slightly warm and be rude to people at parties. He lives in a brothel. Disturbingly, he morphs into a character named Prince Oberyn Nymeros Martell for two scenes several episodes apart before reverting back to his original form.

Showberyn’s beloved paramour, Faullaria Sand hates timid sex and loves the torturing of small children in the name of revenge. We don’t know why she insists on using Ellaria Sand’s name when she is the complete opposite of her character, but we’ve called her out as the faux-Ellaria that she is. Never worry.

Porne is a small area shaped like the birthmark on a man’s ass that consists of the Water Gardens and some desert. It was conceived when someone involved in the production asked their racist grandmother from 1880 what “the orient” was like. There are three things the Pornish do: have sex, kill and/or mutilate people with little or no reason, and ta [..]

Reek must never forget his name. Lord Ramsay was very clear on that. Unless, like, he wants to dick around with his fiancee on a whim. Whatever, it’s not like it’s important thematically, or anything. Theek will also bite his own sister, but if you scream in his face long enough he’ll totally remember who he is. Or almost. We’re unsure.

Winterhell is a castle that once resembled Winterfell, except here, the only thing we are ever shown is rape, torture, flaying, and the casual death of characterizations. In fact, this seems to be the only thing actually occurring here. There’s no like, internal conflict with the politically powerful of the North that undermines security for an upc [..]

This man is gay. Isn’t that hilarious? Why aren’t you laughing? Are you a homophobe? Anyway, Loras is a very complex character…. he’s gay. And if you satisfy his need for D he will do anything for you, including spill all his family’s secrets because…. he’s gay.

D&D’s favorite game! Let’s set up plotlines and forget about them! Who’s Gendry? What happened to the Brotherhood Without Banners? Does anyone in-verse even remember the Red Wedding? Hey, remember when Satannis won over the Iron Bank and got a more or less inexhaustible source of money? No? Well, neither do they!

D&D’s preferred lunch. Their favorite food is clearly ham, given the hamfisted way they provide us clues for what’s coming up. Is someone going to get infected with GREYSCALE? They’ll be sure to mention it 4 times in 3 episodes leading up to it. Need to seed something about Rhaegar? Batfinger will drop the hints. See also: Olly Chekhov.

A magical place with size and population fluctuations according to the needs of the episode. Patriarchy doesn’t exist in Weisseroff, except when it does and poor Carol has to deal with it. Sometimes Weisseroff is a loose collection of feudal holdings, and sometimes it’s a Nation State that people can be citizens of and feel loyalty to. There’s also [..]